Is it ok to regret not doing things i knew i would regret if i had done them? Is it ok to feel like i missed out? And more importantly, did I miss out?! I'm tired of twisted logic. It just doesn't make sense.

Musical Theater is ok. I say that now but i know in a month I'll be ready to strangle the cast, most likely the ensemble members (sorry!). But im just going off what it felt like last year, when so many people got on my nerves I ran out of numbers. Bridget Linton is my saving grace right now. Her and Hartong. Two very interesting people i never really got to know that keep me entertained. I like getting closer to people i've only known from afar all my life, probably because its exciting and I feel like im filling in pieces to the puzzle that makes up Green High School. So its all good for now. But I don't expect 'now' to last very long.

School is school. There are some cool people in my Human Evolution class though. Very interesting people who come from very different backgrounds than i do. I like the fact that i dont just go to college to sit there and take notes. Some way or another, I always end up meeting people and hanging out with them. I never really thought i had a lot of social plasticity, but field studies are proving otherwise.

I think i would enjoy being a human behavioralist. That should keep me occupied and happy for, like, ever.  I mean, its not like they're gonna figure out all of human behavior in my lifetime. But i dont know. That might be too liberal for me. I still have no clue what im going to college for, but we can just add that profession to the list.

So how about this: I bet if you totaled it all up, I've spent more than 40 hours putting Matt's anniversary gift together-- from running from store to store to get things, to researching, and to writing endless lists of surprises i can do to make it better and more exciting. And thats not even counting all the planning i put into it. I get too involved in things. Sheesh. I mean, how am i ever supposed to top this? Heh. I guess i just wont! But oh baby is it going to be fun.

I haven't seen/talked to shannon in, like, more than a month now. Seriously. I cant even remember the last time we hung out. I remember i talked to her the day she wore the same shirt i wore, but i definately remember that being the second week of school. In fact, the last time i hung out with anyone excluding matt was when i went to chipotle with lauren, and that was ages ago. But maybe its all for the best. I did distance myself from people when i crashed for the sake of everyone, and now i guess im just content with it being me and matt. The one who knows everything there is to know. Maybe if he wasn't here I would feel excluded from all my friends, but he is here, so i dont worry about it.

That's Matt. My very own personal sedative. Who knows where I would be without him.

~*~Luia~*~

Warning: Confusion Ahead